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admiral_007
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Name: Erik
Country: United States
State: Kansas
Metro: Wichita
Gender: Male
Interests: the laws of life
Expertise: -14-minute frozen pizzas-seeing the bad in everything-shoe shinning -almost a complete lack of faith in others-being a packrat-not getting enough sleep-2-D drafting (since that's all I do at work)-being overly sarcastic-having ridiculous spurts of bad luck, yet still somehow making it through
Occupation: Aerospace Engineer
Industry: HBC
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  rungo007
MSN: admiral_007
ICQ:  33-709-343
Yahoo:  rungo_007
Member Since:
10/9/2004
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| i had to put ditto, my pet rat, down today. she was 5 1/2 years old. two different vets told me that's the oldest rat they had ever seen. she developed a tumor shortly after christmas, and it was in too much of her body and grew too quickly to remove. so the vet told me to feed her well and treat her well, but that she'd have 4-8 weeks left, but that she wouldn't be feeling any pain. the tumor would just eventually take over her whole body, and then i'd know it was time. i think part of the reason she was so old was because i was pretty strict about her diet, but these last 4 weeks, she's been eating everything i have. i almost stopped feeding her rat food. if i had pizza, she did to. bacon cheeseburger? well, she got a little of that too. it was really sad - she got really excited when she heard my voice or saw me, but the tumor was growing so large that she couldn't move much anymore. these last few days, she had stopped eating, and today, she had almost all but stopped moving. i was pretty sure she wasn't going to make it through the night, and i didn't want her to suffer as she died, so it was her time. it's sad not having her around anymore, and my apartment is a bit lonelier tonight without her. i hate it when pets die. it's so hard.
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| i have other things i need to update on here, and i'll get to it, but i'm pissed right at life now.
my 2005 dodge stratus with 68,000 miles on it caught fire yesterday - an oil fire that i was able to get out with snow and a couple glasses of water before it got too big. i had it towed to a dodge dealership. they said the engine cylinder head was porous and needed replacing - $1500. This is to top the rest of the 60,000 mile maintenance i have yet to complete, and other repairs that are suggested, going well above $2000 of work to be done. the fucking car itself is only worth maybe $5000. does dodge really pride themselves in engines that shit out after 5 years / 60,000 miles? i've read elsewhere online of the same engines that die after 50,000 - 60,000 miles, and of lawsuits against the company for such. i'm a moderate driver who takes good care of the cars i drive. i shouldn't have to deal with ENGINES THAT FUCKING CATCH ON FIRE IN A 5 YEAR OLD CAR.
and, to top off this wonderful day, i finally get a hold of a vet who tells me that they probably won't be able to remove tumors off a 5 1/2 year old rat, so i'll probably have to put ditto down later this week.
fuck my life.
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| 2009 went by quick. It started off with me feeling down and depressed, and ended with me happy and content. I’ll try to sum it up here:
JANUARY
-Started yoga. It was a great thing to do, and I stuck with it for a few months, but then just got too busy, and eventually stopped. While I was doing it, it helped clear and settle my mind from all the crap I was still going through and feeling.
-Fr. Bud passed away. He was in terrible pain, but is now in a better place. It had been a while since I had been to a funeral, and I cried at his. I wish I would have talked to him and gotten to know him better.
-Grandma Runge had a minor heart attack, but ended up okay – thank God.
-I got a P38 pistol.
-Lindsey took the couches, which left my apartment very empty.
-Sasha gave me an old love seat.
FEBRUARY
-First round of layoffs. They announced 2300 were to be laid off total this year.
-First bacon explosion experiment. We had that and a mini keg for the Super Bowl at Austin’s parent’s house.
-Dottie had a stroke, and had to be put down.
-I decide to give up alcohol for Lent. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done for Lent.
MARCH
-I find Allen Cooley and the WWII History Center for WWII reenacting. We meet at the Chisholm Trail Gun Show. . He, David and I decide to start a German reenacting unit through the Museum.
-I reach Life Law 1000 :)
-I start my rotation in Structures at work.
-Got pulled over by a cop for the first time in my life for “reckless driving.” I got let off with a warning.
-First tactical reenactment.
APRIL
-Third round of layoffs announced
-First build of a Breakfast Explosion.
-It rains a ridiculous amount and floods my basement, destroying a lot of stuff. I decide to move to another (higher altitude) apartment in the same complex. Insurance gives me a lot of money for damages.
MAY
-I decide to stay in Structures at work.
-Austin, Rick and I go to the premier of Star Trek.
-I sign up for an online dating service. I’m a bit ashamed of myself and my awkwardness.
- Took my pre-ground school test. I passed. I was going to go take the FAA test, but decided flying was a bit to expensive for me.
JUNE
-Start going to trivia nights at a local bar. We’ve played almost every week since. Still have never (legitimately) won.
-Sasha, Michelle and I kind of start to hang out together. Michelle has several rotations here in Wichita
-Got VIP tickets to Buzz Beachball.
JULY
-I pick up a WWI uniform at a thrift store.
-Promoted to Obergefreiter in reenacting.
AUGUST
-4th round of layoffs announced.
-Went down to spend a weekend with David. We plan on building a PaK for reenacting.
-I threw out my back, again, playing volleyball this time. I was completely immobile for a few days. It was horrible, excruciating pain.
-I host Blackout Friday to celebrate my layoff or my job retention.
-Promoted to Unteroffizier in reenacting.
SEPTEMBER
-Go to the Air Show, and while there, Austin convinces me to go to Cancun with him at the end of the month. Ha! What the hell!
-Get a call from Lockheed Martin for an on-site job interview, which, immediately after scheduling it, the position gets cancelled. Boo.
-Buzz Beachball = best concert I’ve ever been to!
-Dad goes to hospital several times for kidney stones.
-Austin breaks his back skydiving.
-Vacation to Cancun!
OCTOBER
-I get the swine flu, which knocks me out for a whole week.
-Sasha lets me know that Michelle has a crush on me. Awesome!
-Go to Ben Folds Concert – this is the best concert I’ve ever been to!
-I start swing dancing.
NOVEMBER
-This Halloween is the best ever. I go as Bender, Kyle as Zoidberg, and Kyle’s friend Austin as Zap. We’re a hit.
-First annual WWII History Center Public Battle.
-Promoted to Feldwebel in reenacting.
-End one of my online dating memberships.
-Ask Michelle on a date.
-First build of a Thanksgiving Explosion.
-I am now a quarter of a century old.
-First date with Michelle!
-I join a baseball team and I start practicing with them.
DECEMBER
-First kiss!
-Fermented Four Wine Regional at my place
-Get snowed in at Grandma K’s for Christmas
Last year I said I wanted to lose 10 pounds (fail), get a good start on my pilots license (kinda fail), start playing piano again (succeed), join Habitat (succeed) and knights of Columbus (succeed), and get a dog (fail). It feels like I just wrote this thing out for last year, but at the same time, that seems almost a lifetime ago.
Happy New Year, all!
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| ugh. you know that feeling like theres a knife in your heart, and someone is twisting is around and around? or that feeling like your heart, and every other major organ in your body has just fallen into the pit of your stomach? yeah, i've had both of those, and both in the last two days. ugh. it hurts so much.
the first incident that caused the knife-in-the-heart feeling was stupid. and hell, i don't even know why i felt that way. a little background first. as stated previously, michelle decided that she'd like to be my girlfriend and simultaneously, i decided that i'd like to be her boyfriend, so that worked out nicely. we have been hanging out almost daily. sometimes, we'll just sit and watch several movies back to back to back, and not even mind because we are sitting next to each other holding hands. that's a great feeling. i was worried at first that that was getting boring to her, but she loves movies (more than i do) and love spending time with me, so it's good. don't get me wrong, i do make other date plans, but since we've spend a lot of time together, i can't have something planned all the time :) so anyways, about this terrible feeling. i was driving her to the airport because she has a conference the next few days. i had a cd that i was sure she was going to love, and put it int to listen to on the way. after a song or two, she said, "okay, i've had enough of that." and turned it off. ugh. horribly horribly awkward silence followed. after several seconds, i changed cds and kept the volume on low to get rid of that silence. hence, the knife and the twisting. i don't mind her not liking all the same music i like, so i don't know why this affected me so much. i just have weird emotions sometimes, i guess. so we get to the airport, and i get her bag out. we're right in front of the terminal, and we say our goodbyes, and hug. we hug for a really long time. there are a lot of people around. after we hug, we are still in close. i almost lean in to kiss (for the first kiss) but hold back because i think that would be a poor place for a first kiss. so we hug again, which is a bit awkward. i feel like the people around us were kind of watching us. i don't know if it more awkward for them to see us look at each other, merely inches a part and not kiss, or if the almost uncomfortable hug was worse for them. michelle and i kind of laugh it off, cause i'm pretty sure we were both thinking the same thing. i wave goodbye, and drive off. it got better that evening when she called and we talked for about 30 min cause her flight got delayed.
so, things were going better. i'm working on reenacting stuff last night - emailing people, documents, files, the webpage, etc... then i get an email from our lieutenant. i think my heart stops and drops to my stomach. i about keel over. he's sent out an email outlining our next training event, it's fairly long and nothing out of the ordinary. then, to my horror, i see that it is a forwarded email of a conversation he and i had been having earlier that day. this conversation was about one of the guys in my unit - he's getting into his upper 60s and has diabetes. the LT asked if i was okay watching out for him at battles and shows. i said that i was comfortable with it, but it was a bit frustrating to other in our unit to constantly watch over him, making sure he had taken his meds and was feeling okay. i mentioned that one of our guys wanted to strangle him several times at the last event because he had been drinking and was low blood sugar and was acting weird and was really really holding us up. the frustration is understandable, but i'm not going to tell a 65 yr old man what he can and cannot do, even if i am his superior in rank. if he wants to continue reenacting, i will support it. i've had his back in the past, and i will continue to do so in the future. well, this email the LT sent out (to every reenactor, by the way) had that whole conversation (and it was a long one). i get a really pissed email from the guy in question, saying that he feels betrayed and lied to and that he thought we were his friends. f.m.l. i almost called him right away. i don't know if i should have or not. i ended up sending an email, apologizing for this. no reply as of yet. i really think he's going to quit, and will hate us all. i don't know if there's much else more i can do. ugh. shitty shitty situation. this is one of those horribly awkward things that would happen to me, where i have no chance to even prepare myself for something like this. i'm sure the LT didn't mean to send out that email conversation, but damn it all, why did you have to make that mistake?
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