LIFE LAWS (1126-1150)

Who is he in reality?

Dear Brothers and Sisters! The reading from Saint Paul's Letter to Titus that we have just heard begins solemnly with the word "apparuit," which then comes back again in the reading at the Dawn Mass: apparuit

"there has appeared". This is a programmatic word, by which the Church seeks to express synthetically the essence of Christmas. Formerly, people had spoken of God and formed human images of him in all sorts of different ways. God himself had spoken in many and various ways to mankind (cf. Heb 1:1 Mass during the Day). But now something new has happened: he has appeared. He has revealed himself. He has emerged from the inaccessible light in which he dwells. He himself has come into our midst. This was the great joy of Christmas for the early Church: God has appeared. No longer is he merely an idea, no longer do we have to form a picture of him on the basis of mere words. He has "appeared". But now we ask: how has he appeared? Who is he in reality? The reading at the Dawn Mass goes on to say: "the kindness and love of God our Savior for mankind were revealed" (Tit 3:4). For the people of pre-Christian times, whose response to the terrors and contradictions of the world was to fear that God himself might not be good either, that he too might well be cruel and arbitrary, this was a real "epiphany," the great light that has appeared to us: God is pure goodness. Today too, people who are no longer able to recognize God through faith are asking whether the ultimate power that underpins and sustains the world is truly good, or whether evil is just as powerful and primordial as the good and the beautiful which we encounter in radiant moments in our world. "The kindness and love of God our Savior for mankind were revealed:" this is the new, consoling certainty that is granted to us at Christmas. In all three Christmas Masses, the liturgy quotes a passage from the Prophet Isaiah, which describes the epiphany that took place at Christmas in greater detail: "A child is born for us, a son given to us and dominion is laid on his shoulders; and this is the name they give him: Wonder-Counsellor, Mighty-God, Eternal-Father, Prince-of-Peace. Wide is his dominion in a peace that has no end" (Is 9:5f.). Whether the prophet had a particular child in mind, born during his own period of history, we do not know. But it seems impossible. This is the only text in the Old Testament in which it is said of a child, of a human being: his name will be Mighty-God, Eternal-Father. We are presented with a vision that extends far beyond the historical moment into the mysterious, into the future. A child, in all its weakness, is Mighty God. A child, in all its neediness and dependence, is Eternal Father. And his peace "has no end." The prophet had previously described the child as "a great light" and had said of the peace he would usher in that the rod of the oppressor, the footgear of battle, every cloak rolled in blood would be burned (Is 9:1, 3-4). God has appeared as a child. It is in this guise that he pits himself against all violence and brings a message that is peace. At this hour, when the world is continually threatened by violence in so many places and in so many different ways, when over and over again there are oppressors' rods and bloodstained cloaks, we cry out to the Lord: O mighty God, you have appeared as a child and you have revealed yourself to us as the One who loves us, the One through whom love will triumph. And you have shown us that we must be peacemakers with you. We love your childish estate, your powerlessness, but we suffer from the continuing presence of violence in the world, and so we also ask you: manifest your power, O God. In this time of ours, in this world of ours, cause the oppressors' rods, the cloaks rolled in blood and the footgear of battle to be burned, so that your peace may triumph in this world of ours. Christmas is an epiphany the appearing of God and of his great light in a child that is born for us. Born in a stable in Bethlehem, not in the palaces of kings. In 1223, when Saint Francis of Assisi celebrated Christmas in Greccio with an ox and an ass and a manger full of hay, a new dimension of the mystery of Christmas came to light. Saint Francis of Assisi called Christmas "the feast o f feasts" above all other feasts and he celebrated it with "unutterable devotion" (2 Celano 199; Fonti Francescane, 787). He kissed images of the Christ-child with great devotion and he stammered tender words such as children say, so Thomas of Celano tells us (ibid.). For the early Church, the feast of feasts was Easter: in the Resurrection Christ had flung open the doors of death and in so doing had radically changed the world: he had made a place for man in God himself. Now, Francis neither changed nor intended to change this objective order of precedence among the feasts, the inner structure of the faith centered on the Paschal Mystery. And yet through him and the character of his faith, something new took place: Francis discovered Jesus' humanity in an entirely new depth. This human existence of God became most visible to him at the moment when God's Son, born of the Virgin Mary, was wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger. The Resurrection presupposes the Incarnation. For God's Son to take the form of a child, a truly human child, made a profound impression on the heart of the Saint of Assisi, transforming faith into love. "The kindness and love of God our Savior for mankind were revealed" this phrase of Saint Paul now acquired an entirely new depth. In the child born in the stable at Bethlehem, we can as it were touch and caress God. And so the liturgical year acquired a second focus in a feast that is above all a feast of the heart. This has nothing to do with sentimentality. It is right here, in this new experience of the reality of Jesus' humanity that the great mystery of faith is revealed. Francis loved the child Jesus, because for him it was in this childish estate that God's humility shone forth. God became poor. His Son was born in the poverty of the stable. In the child Jesus, God made himself dependent, in need of human love, he put himself in the position of asking for human love our love. Today Christmas has become a commercial celebration, whose bright lights hide the mystery o f God's humility, which in turn calls us to humility and simplicity. Let us ask the Lord to help us see through the superficial glitter of this season, and to discover behind it the child in the stable in Bethlehem, so as to find true joy and true light. Francis arranged for Mass to be celebrated on the manger that stood between the ox and the ass (cf. 1 Celano 85; Fonti 469). Later, an altar was built over this manger, so that where animals had once fed on hay, men could now receive the flesh of the spotless lamb Jesus Christ, for the salvation of soul and body, as Thomas of Celano tells us (cf. 1 Celano 87; Fonti 471). Francis himself, as a deacon, had sung the Christmas Gospel on the holy night in Greccio with resounding voice. Through the friars' radiant Christmas singing, the whole celebration seemed to be a great outburst of joy (1 Celano 85.86; Fonti 469, 470). It was the encounter with God's humility that caused this joy his goodness creates the true feast. Today, anyone wishing to enter the Church of Jesus' Nativity in Bethlehem will find that the doorway five and a half meters high, through which emperors and caliphs used to enter the building, is now largely walled up. Only a low opening of one and a half meters has remained. The intention was probably to provide the church with better protection from attack, but above all to prevent people from entering God's house on horseback. Anyone wishing to enter the place of Jesus' birth has to bend down. It seems to me that a deeper truth is revealed here, which should touch our hearts on this holy night: if we want to find the God who appeared as a child, then we must dismount from the high horse of our "enlightened" reason. We must set aside our false certainties, our intellectual pride, which prevents us from recognizing God's closeness. We must follow the interior path of Saint Francis the path leading to that ultimate outward and inward simplicity which enables the heart to see. We must bend down, spiritually we must as it were go on foot, in order to pass through the portal of faith and encounter the God who is so different from our prejudices and opinions the God who conceals himself in the humility of a newborn baby. In this spirit let us celebrate the liturgy of the holy night, let us strip away our fixation on what is material, on what can be measured and grasped. Let us allow ourselves to be made simple by the God who reveals himself to the simple of heart. And let us also pray especially at this hour for all who have to celebrate Christmas in poverty, in suffering, as migrants, that a ray of God's kindness may shine upon them, that they and we may be touched by the kindness that God chose to bring into the world through the birth of his Son in a stable. Amen.
Pope Benedict XVI, 12-24-11

having gone to school for five years, and having worked in the aerospace field for three years, i still feel like an idiot who doesn't know a damn thing about airplanes.

an exercise in forgiveness

i've never been so mad as i was last night....that is, i've never been so mad at a softball game before.  it sounds ridiculous now, after i've slept on it.  i wasn't mad that this team we played was beating us badly (i've been playing for years, and have had more than my fair share of being run-ruled), it's the fact that they were f'ing around with us and making fun of us on the field.  this is co-ed, non-competitive softball.  their team was good enough to play in competitive ball at a much higher level than we are playing at.  so basically, as they were kicking our asses, they were laughing at how easily they were doing it.  i've been bullied and made fun of before, but i thought those days were left behind me in grade school and middle school.  it kind of floored me that adults would be doing this.  

driving home, i was furious, but i know that forgiveness is what's required here.  it's so hard, though, in the heat of the moment, to truly forgive.  it was definitely a challenge (that i failed), but something i need to continue to work on.  in the long run, what happened last night doesn't truly matter, but what i can learn from last night will help me become a better person, i hope.

2010 Year in Review

 Well, now that it’s almost 5 months into 2011, I think I should probably review last year.  This was kind of hard to do because I kind of stopped writing, which sucks.  I think having a girlfriend really sucks the desire to write out of me.  Oh well,  I’ll do what I can…

JANUARY

• My car engine bursts into flames.  My “pot metal” engine head was spewing oil because the metal was porous.  I spent well over $2000 replacing cheap, Chinese made crap car parts.
• I had to put Ditto down – she was old and had a good life though. 

FEBRUARY

MARCH

• Michelle is in Lawrence on rotation.
• I buy a dummy MP40 submachine gun for displays at reenacting events. 
• YPLS Pub Crawl!  I pull what is now being called “A Runge” – after getting up super early that day and after drinking at several bars, I sit down at our last bar on the crawl and fall asleep.  I didn’t pass out – just fell asleep.  Well, I guess they don’t like that much at bars, so they kicked me out. 
• I got my first ticket ever – I went to pick Michelle up at the airport and was inside for not even 5 minutes, came back out and had a parking ticket.  Boo. 
• Started playing baseball with the Wichita Wolfpack.  It was okay, but it wasn’t all that fun.  Way too competitive, and our team was pretty horrible. 
• Travel down to Ft. Worth, TX for my cousin Derek’s wedding.  He married Melody, who is also Egyptian.  Michelle approves :)

APRIL

• Michelle is staying in Wichita this month because she is working in Newton on rotation. 

MAY

• Michelle’s graduation!  There was a bit of a snafu the night before.  We (Justin, Sasha and I) were going to go to KC to celebrate and to meet up with Andy and Mich, who just happened to be in town at the same time. 
• Reenactment in Peabody, right downtown.  Definitely one of the loudest reenactments I’ve ever been to because of all the buildings and concrete.  This is the first reenactment that Michelle came to watch me in.  She also brought her parents, which surprised me.  I’m not sure if they like it or not. 
• Austin and Aaron go to South Africa for a few weeks to watch World Cup games.  U-S-A!  U-S-A!  U-S-A! 
• Me and Zach and Jess go to a wine party at the Shadow.  We have a great time. 

JUNE

• I go skydiving for the first time!  I wanted to go solo, but the way things worked out, the only weekend we could all go, I had to do tandem.  It was still a rush!  So much fun!
• Fermented Four Finals!  It came down to Zinfandel Wine, a White Russian, a lager beer and Vodka.  White Russian was the winner!
• My dad and I get our Knights of Columbus 4^th Degree in Wichita.  We get matching tuxedos for the event.
• Travis and Karen get married and have their reception at the Cosmosphere.  One of the best receptions I’ve ever been to!
• Watching several World Cup games.  This is the first time in my life that I’ve really watched a soccer game. 
• The Shadow, one of our group’s (Tom Hanks) most favorite bars closes.  We competed in several trivia nights here, and only legitimately won one game in something like 2 years of playing.  Sad day…
• Zach moves away at the end of the month :(  He’s on a year-rotation program with his work company.  He moves away from us down to Houston.  Boo!

JULY

• I go to my first CL vacation with the Oklahoma CL people.  We go to White Rock Mountain in Arkansas.  It was a beautiful place.  The trip was full of fun and not so fun times.  The drive up the mountain was stressful and pretty terrible.  We had a guy faint and pass out on us on a 6 mile hike – we got him out and he ended up being okay, but that was a bit scary.   We got lots of good reflection time, and we got to know the Oklahomans pretty well.  It was a fun trip!
• Kyle and Justin and I decide we need to build spud guns, so we do, and end up shooting those all night, instead of normally blowing stuff up with fireworks on July 4^th. 

AUGUST

• Michelle goes with me to the first home K-State game.  It was HOT where we sat, and Michelle, who normally loves the heat, nearly passed out.  The game was a ton of fun, and KSU won 31-22.

SEPTEMBER

• Ryan and Jess’ wedding!  It’s a ton of fun, lots of good wine and beer and dancing.  Unfortunately, I find out that I am allergic to the beer they are serving (Blind Tiger).  I had 5 or 6 cups of it, along with lots of wine.  It was a delayed reaction, probably because I was drinking a lot of water and tea and wine.  About 2 or 3 hours after I had drank the beer, I couldn’t breathe, and it got really bad – to the point I had to go to the ER.  Michelle brought me to the hospital and sat with me for hours while we waited in the ER and the waiting rooms.  We made it back around 3 in the morning. 
• Buzz Beachball, featuring Cake and Smashing Pumpkins!  Of course, it is raining again this year.  Raining the whole day.  Well, we came prepared for rain this year.  What we didn’t come prepared for was 40 degree weather.  Who’s have thought that it get that damn cold in September?!? It was FREEZING.  So the day starts off great – Kyle got us VIP tickets, so we got access to all the DJs tents, with food and fun and private-like shows with some of the bands.  The local bands and first bands of the day are awesome and a lot of fun.  Cake was an okay show.  They had nothing on stage, just the 4 of them, and they just stood there and didn’t do much other than play music.  Smashing Pumpkins sounded great, I guess, but their stage was ridiculous and the lights were blinding and pointing right at the crowd.  They didn’t play Cherub Rock, so I was disappointed.  It was cold and we were miserable, and the music was kind of sucking, so we left about half way through the Smashing Pumpkins’ set.  Overall, Cake and Smashing Pumpkins were disappointing, but all the bands before them rocked. 

OCTOBER

• Bought a PPS-43 submachine gun for reenacting – it’s pretty sweet!
• Got laid off from Hawker Beechcraft on October 22.  I had worked there for 2 years and 5 months.  I’ll miss the people I worked with, but I definitely won’t miss the big aircraft company atmosphere, the windowless office that would often get above 90 degrees and the cubicles.  I won’t be officially unemployed until January 2011, because I will continue to receive paychecks as normal for two months, then I get a lump sum check at the end of another month and all the leftover vacation and sick days I had left, so I have some time to relax and not worry and start looking for another job.  I spent the rest of the month lying in bed and playing video games.  I’m kind of wishing I didn’t buy that PPS-43…
• A bunch of us go to see Rocky Horror Picture Show.  It was the first time I had seen it.  I dressed in drag (kinda).  It was horribly embarrassing until I saw what everyone else was wearing.  The show sucked, but the crowd interaction made it totally worth it. 
• Halloween party at Jasso’s.  I go as Bender, again.  Yeah, I know – that’s a no-no, but I upgraded the costume so that it fit me better, and I put speakers in it so it talked.  We left his party early to go downtown and try to get in some costume contests.  Kyle was Zoidberg and Melissa was Lela and Scooter was Fry.  We only made it into one bar with a contest, and we won 1^st place – only $50, but that’s better than nothing, right?

NOVEMBER

• Trip to Rome! – Michelle and I, and all of Michelle’s family, flew out to Rome for her uncle’s ordination as a Cardinal.  It was a quick 5-day trip. 

DECEMBER

•  I get a nice big severance check in the mail from Hawker Beechcraft. 

 So I think that’s it.  I probably missed a bunch of stuff, but this covers most of what I went through last year.  Let’s hope 2011 is as good, if not better!